"Happy" Birthday to Me?

As I've mentioned, in my current position at Taller, I don't get the opportunity to accompany clients very often. When I do, it is because they are long-term clients with complex, difficult, cases. When I realized that I would be going to court with one of these clients on my birthday, I was bracing myself for a tough day. This particular clients' story is a heartbreaking one that involves the Department of Child and Family Services and a history of abuse and trauma. I've written about this case before because it effects me strongly every time in I see her, as these types of emotional cases tend to do. I am so glad she has trusted me to accompany her through this process and I never dread going, but I generally wouldn't describe my time with her as "happy."

But on my way to meet the client, I realized how grateful I was to have the opportunity to accompany her today. In walking with her, I was reminded of the power and importance of accompaniment. I was reminded of all the people who have accompanied me, and I was feeling particularly grateful for their presence in my life on a day when so many people were reaching out to make my day special.

At Taller, we hope that the act of accompaniment transforms the accompanier as much as the one seeking the accompaniment. As a staff member, I have felt honored to serve as a witness to the joys and sorrows of so many men and women, and each time I accompany one of them I learn something. Today that lesson was gratitude.

And how grateful I am! From my roommate surprising me with a hot breakfast and a delicious

Enjoying my delicious birthday treat!

birthday treat to coworkers who celebrated with me at lunch. From the friend who treated me to birthday dinner, to the one who sent me a special delivery at work. From the friends who called, texted, or emailed, to the friends and family who sent cards and packages. And though not necessarily birthday-related, I am so grateful to everyone who has accompanied me throughout this marathon training with their prayers, encouragement and financial support. I am so blessed with so many companions in my life, both today and on all days.

But back to the reason I was reflecting on this accompaniment in my own life in the first place. I am so glad to report that my client's court actually went pretty well today! In more ways than one, it really was a very Happy Birthday.

20 reasons for 20 miles

I'm preparing to run 20 miles tomorrow, the longest run of the training season! To add an extra little motivation to my running, I decided to give 20 reasons why I'm running for Taller de José:

I'm running in honor of...

1. Julieta, an elderly client who feels isolated and alone and looks forward to the time with her Taller de José compañeras as much-needed opportunities for companionship.
2. Our generous volunteer compañera(o)s who collectively donate almost 170 hours of their time to Taller de José each week. 
3. Antonio and his colleagues who came to Taller de José because they sought to accompany one another, working collectively to improve the working conditions at their job. 
4. Raul, who relies on the support of the compañera at Taller de José to help him navigate the complex health care system and financial assistance programs at the hospital. 
5. Our partnering organizations who work together with Taller de José to provide legal representation,  medical services, counseling, financial assistance, and much more to individuals in need. 
6. Ariel, who reached out to Taller de José for help finding GED classes; now that her children have graduated from high school and been accepted into college, she was inspired by their achievements and now has time to pursue her own education and career goals. 
7. Fernando, who with the help of his compañero from Taller de José, studied for and passed his citizenship test and has now been sworn in as a new citizen of the United States. 
8. The Congregation of St. Joseph, whose continued support enabled Taller de José to open its doors and then to grow by leaps and bounds in the past 6 years. 
9. Daniel, who was finally able to put a troubled past behind him through the process of expunging his record, opening doors for future employment and positive contributions to his community. 
10. Alma, who is working tirelessly to be reunited with her family and rebuild her life after experiencing severe domestic violence. 
11. Jaime, a victim of identity theft who was afraid and confused by the notices he began receiving from collection agencies; his compañera walked with him through the process of reporting and resolving the issue, clearing his name of several thousand dollars of credit card debt. 
12. Those who support Taller de José through their generous financial support, ensuring that we are able to continue providing our services complete free of charge. 
13. The many friends of Taller de José who donate their time and talent to help us grow our capacity through outreach and fundraising (like the other members of Team Taller de José who are training as well!). 
14. Susana, who sought the support of Taller de José when she was anxious about attending her doctor's appointments alone. 
15. The staff members at Taller de José who accompany one another, supporting each other to best serve our client-companions and allow ourselves to be transformed by the experiences as well.
16. Rogelio, an elderly neighbor who visits Taller every so often for help filling out forms or understanding the mail he receives in English. 
17. The board members who share their expertise and insight to strengthen Taller de José as an organization and ensure that it is sustainable for as long as the need exists in the community. 
18. Adriana, who struggles to make ends meet, but brought a warm tamale to share with her compañera, making the wait for the bus more bearable on a cold, early morning. 
19. Our research partners from area universities who have helped us grow in our understanding of what "accompaniment" means and how it can lead to systemic change in our community. 
20. Amanda, who was nervous about going to court, but was relieved when her compañera walked with her each step of the way as she filed for guardianship of her adult daughter with severe disabilities. 

And thank you to everyone who has accompanied me along the journey of running in honor of all these individuals (and so many more)! Here's to a safe run for everyone who will be conquering the 20 miles along with me tomorrow!

Edits: So we actually ended up running more like 20.25 due to a slight snafu in directions on the course of the 20 miler (and it went great!) So reason 20.25 that I'm running for Team Taller de José is that I really enjoy it, especially when I get to run with good friend and teammate!

At the starting line and excited to start the 20 mile run! 

Coloring Compañera

When it comes to seeing clients at Taller de José, my current role is more of a supporting one. I do occasionally still meet with and accompany a few client-companions, but I primarily serve as a resource for our staff—the compañeros and compañeras who work directly with clients. Right now, we are in the midst of training several new compañeros, so that role has been a little more active. Generally, as new staff members are seeing their first clients, I do my best to space out those appointments so that I have time to sit in on some of them, offering feedback and suggestions if needed. But as I mentioned in my last post, often the schedule at Taller de José doesn't work out as planned. Last week was one of those times.

On a late afternoon, several clients arrived well past their scheduled appointment times, so two appointments that I was supposed to observe ended up occurring simultaneously. In addition, one of our experienced staff members also had a few questions regarding resources for the client she was meeting with. Initially, I spent a few minutes observing each appointment, getting a feel for what the client needed and seeing that the staff members felt confident in responding to the clients' questions. One client had recently been attacked by a dog and incurred large medical bills as a result. She had received notices from the police and animal control regarding her rights in response to the attack, but she was illiterate and spoke only Spanish. She was feeling alone and unsure about where to start. Both of the other two clients with simultaneous appointments were seeking affordable housing for their families.

Initially, the appointments were going well. But soon it became clear that the 3-year-old child of one of those clients was having a hard time sitting still, making it difficult for both the client and compañero to focus and talk to one another. So in between walking between the appointments to check in, I grabbed a few crayons and a coloring book. Often, this will occupy an antsy child, but this particular boy quickly made it known that he was not interested in coloring unless it was going to be a group activity. Yeah, right, buddy, I thought, I'm already trying to be in 3 places at once, sitting down to color with you is the last place I need to be right now. 

But then, in a stroke of inspiration, I realized that perhaps that was exactly where I needed to be. Rather than having me hovering over their shoulders, what the staff members needed from me in that moment was to be able to focus on listening to their clients. So I took the boy out into the hallway where I became his coloring companion. For the first time in 15 minutes he was quiet. And in that quiet, as I sat in the hallway, I began to hear snippits of conversations from all three appointments. I heard the compassion in the voices of the staff members. I also heard some uncertainty as they encountered new situations, but then I heard them grow in confidence throughout the appointments, occasionally coming to me for support or reassurance. On the other end of the conversation, I heard some fear and uncertainty in the voices of the clients, but I also heard their hope; I heard them bravely tell their stories to strangers, reaching out to find the support they needed. I heard the relief in their voices when their compañero or compañera let them know that they weren't alone in overcoming their obstacles.

As I listened to these bits and pieces, I realized how honored I was to be able to witness the strength and courage of both the clients and the compañeras as they journeyed together. I was grateful to have the opportunity to play my supporting role in the hallway with my crayons and coloring book. Playing the supporting role has also made me grateful for all the support I have received over the years. I have been so blessed to be part of a staff that supports and accompanies one another, mentoring and welcoming new staff members. I have been so thankful for everyone who has supported our work at Taller de José through their volunteer time, their financial gifts, and their prayers. And as marathon day looms close, I am reminded of all the support I've received leading up to my past races, and especially on race day— I have been blessed with some amazing fans the past 2 years! I've said in the past how much I appreciate the spectators on the sidelines, and my experience on the sidelines—or rather, in the hallway— this past week gave me a whole new appreciation for what it takes to play that supporting role.

A Change of Plans

This summer I had the opportunity to travel to Le Puy, a small town in France where the Congregation of St. Joseph formed their first religious communities in 1650. Taller de José was founded by and continues to be sponsored by the Congregation, so the trip was an opportunity to connect with the long tradition that build the strong foundation upon which Taller is built. I learned far more than I can write in one post (at least, one that anyone would be willing to read), but one major "aha" moment I had while there was when I learned that the first sisters recognized that in order to best serve their community they had to have flexible schedules. Instead of adhering to strict patterns of prayer like many cloistered monasteries, the sisters recognized a need to be flexible and fluid, open to the neighbors in need knocking at any time of day.

Ah- ha.

If you know me well (okay, maybe even just a little) you know how much I love schedules (and sticking to them) and putting things on the calendar way in advance. If you ever witness me going with the flow or being flexible, it's probably because my calendar says: "2-5pm: Go with the flow."

But that flexibility is exactly what we need at Taller de José. We often lament that we can't even get everyone at a staff meeting because no matter when we schedule it, at least one client requests an accompaniment to court or a doctor's appointment that can't be rescheduled. And that's what we're here for, right? We are here to serve the dear neighbor whenever they come knocking, even— and especially—when they aren't on my calendar. These days, most of the clients I work with directly are walk-ins, hoping to be seen and heard even though they don't have an appointment. This flexibility is often tough for me, but visiting Le Puy helped me connect with the roots of the tradition in which Taller was founded; it helped me to take a deep breath and remember that serving our clients requires openness to changes in plans.

The famous Lennon quote says, "life is what happens when you're making other plans." How true. It was actually a change of plans that allowed me to stay at Taller de José (after my volunteer year) in the first place. Had I been accepted into the grad school program I was planning on attending, I wouldn't be at Taller today. And how grateful I am in retrospect for that change of plans!

And this training season, I'm learning that my training schedule has to be open to changes in plans too; among other things, European travel took precedence over completing a 14-mile run I had scheduled. It seems a little repetitive to be running the marathon again this year, but I'm continually drawn to it because I learn so much each time around. And the lessons I learn generally are about way more than just running. . I'm grateful that so far this year has been no different.

On Winning the Lottery (Again)

In summer 2013, I introduced my marathon training and fundraising by sharing: "After a fiasco of a registration process, I was lucky enough to "win" an entry to the 2013 Chicago Marathon; I just hope the next time I win a "lottery" it means that I've won money, not that I have to pay a large sum of money (and in order to run 26.2 miles, to boot!)." 

So now that I've "won" the Chicago Marathon lottery again in 2014, I'm not sure whether that makes me unlucky-- the only lotteries I've one require paying money to run absurd amounts of miles-- or lucky -- strangely enough, I actually enjoy running those miles enough to want to pay it!

I'm going with lucky. And I'll tell you why I'm feeling so grateful to be so lucky to be running the Chicago Marathon for Team Taller de José for the 3rd time in a row. 

1. I just really enjoy running! Yes, there are days when I I'm sore and tired and don't want to go to

See, I just really
enjoy running!

bed by 9pm so that I can get up before the sunrise the next day to run 3+ hours. But most often, I enjoy logging the miles, whether it be on Chicago's beautiful lakefront path (another thing I'm grateful for) or through the hills of the Tuscan countryside (more on that in another blog post!). I enjoy finding my pace, falling into a rhythm. I love filling the miles with conversations with my running buddy, with time to let my mind wander and think creatively, or with space to just let my mind be quiet-- a rarity in the busyness of life. 

2. Getting in via the lottery system gives me the opportunity to run on behalf of Taller de José, the non-profit where I have been working for the past three years. If you haven't hear me share about Taller de José yet, it is a unique community resource center located in Chicago's predominantly Latino community called Little Village. I say "unique" because we don't know of many other places that offer the service of accompaniment, in which we walk with individuals and families emotionally, spiritually, and physically to assist them in addressing any obstacles or difficulties they may be facing. Every day, I am in awe of the strength of the men and women who walk through our door, asking us to walk with them, and in awe of our staff (whom we call "compñeras") who respond to that call to accompany them. 

I'm so grateful for all the support and all the friends
who've joined Team Taller  for a full or half marathon.

3. Training for a marathon as part of a team enables me to be a part of a community of runners (into which I've recruited anyone I know with even a mild interest in running, and  this year my running buddy has joined the team too!). The ways in which we accompany one another as we work towards our common goal remind me of the importance of accompaniment. Accompaniment isn't just for the staff and clients at Taller de José; we all need a companion or two on our own journeys!

If you are curious to hear more about our current work at Taller, I invite you check back (or subscribe to get updates) over the next two months as I write about the mission, my experience of working there, and the connections I see between Taller de José and my marathon training. If you can't wait that long, you can visit Taller de José's website here or visit some of my posts from previous years (if you haven't been lucky enough to read them yet ;)). As always, thank you in advance for your prayers, encouragement, and support of Taller de José, and for humoring my efforts to make my life and work interesting to read about!

¡Muchísimas Gracias!

A full week after the marathon, I happy to say that I'm fully recovered and walking quite normally again! But even though the pain and soreness has faded, the overwhelming feelings of gratitude I've felt during the training, race, and recovery definitely haven't faded. Let me tell you, I am one lucky girl.

Team Taller de José with Taller's executive director, Sr. Kathy

Thanks to my wonderful supporters, I've raised a total of $2,146.20 in support of the ministry of Taller de José!! I was pretty nervous and worried about asking for donations a second year in a row, not because I doubted others' generosity but because I didn't want to be that person who's asking for money every time you see her. But my convictions about the work I'm a part of at Taller de José overrode my aversion to fundraising, and I am so grateful that the response was one of overwhelming support and generosity. (And I suppose that doesn't necessarily rule out me being that girl, but it's wonderful to know that so many people are willing to support our ministry even if they aren't thrilled about being asked for money!).

And thanks to my amazing family and friends, I had people I knew cheering me on at 11 different spots on

Having my running buddy as my "compañera"
 for the last 5 miles made a huge difference!

the course. That's incredible!! People have mentioned that in the photos* I look happier than any normal person should look in the middle of a 26 mile run, and I think that's a testament to the fact that seeing the people you love supporting and cheering you on can override all sorts of aches and pains and exhaustion. Trust me, those smiles always meant "I'm so excited to see you, thanks for being here," and never meant "whoo hoo! I have 20 more miles to go!" :) A special thank you goes out to my family and roommates who set a public transportation record by making it to SEVEN different spots on the course! And there were so many people who couldn't be there in person but were there in spirit through their prayers, notes of inspiration, and text messages on race day and the days leading up to it.

So I can't express enough how grateful I am to everyone who has accompanied me throughout this journey. I believe so strongly in the ministry of accompaniment because I know what a difference it has made to have so many wonderful companions in my own life. I finished the race in 4:52:40, which I was absolutely thrilled about -- it was over 30 minutes faster than last year's time-- but I didn't and couldn't have done it alone.

¡Muchísimas Gracias!

* If you haven't seen all the  photos yet, this here are some more photos my family took and some from the official marathon photographers

More than "Just Spectators"

This is it, folks— only 2 more training miles stand between me and the starting line at 8am Sunday morning! I am so overwhelmed by the support I've received throughout the process; your prayers, donations, words of encouragement, and presence have made it possible to complete the almost 500 training miles leading up to this point. I And I'm thrilled to report that I've received a total of $1,926.20 in donations so far!! I'm still hoping to raise another $73.80 for a total of $2,000 so if you were considering a donation it's not too late! (see the donation information on the right hand column of this blog).

Sometimes the best signs are the ones that make you
 laugh, even if they aren't exactly "encouraging" :)

I recently read a brief article in Runner's World about the role of spectators at a marathon, and the truth of it nearly made me tear up. I've shortened it a little here, but I thought it was worth sharing. For those of you who will be here in person, know that it means the world to me, and for those of you that will be there in spirit, know that I'll be thinking of you when I see the thousands of spectators cheering on me and my fellow runners. Thank you so much to all the "spectators" in my life!

An excerpt from "Standing Ovation" by Mark Remy:

In fact, the word spectator–from the Latin spectare, "to observe"–seems inadequate. It suggests passivity, and crowds who turn out for marathons are anything but passive. Marathon spectators shout. They clap. They play bagpipes and kettle drums. They rattle cowbells and scream your name, if they know it. If they don't, they latch onto any identifier–"Go, Team in Training!" "Go, Sparkly Skirt!" "Go, Runner's World!"They hold handmade signs that make you laugh. ("You Should Have Taken a Dump When You Had the Chance.")

I've been buoyed by people cheering by name for the guy next to me, and by "Go Mommy" and "Go Daddy" signs held up by someone else's kids. I call this "secondhand inspiration."

It's a cultural universal: Every year, untold millions of spectators materialize to urge runners on at marathons around the world.... I don't know when or where, exactly, turning out to watch other people run became a "thing."... But I'm glad it is. I can't imagine ever running 26.2 miles without the crowds. And yet it's easy to take them a little bit for granted.

...maybe it's because our own private "support crews" are so good at what they do. During months of training, they put up with our aches and pains; they watch us vanish for hours at a time to do our workouts and long runs; they listen to us blather on about mileage and nutrition and ice baths. They indulge us.

On race weekend, of course, they're the ones who kick into high gear just as we're downshifting to prepare for race day. They travel along with us, carrying our stuff and eating when, and where, we want. They soothe our nerves. They study course maps to plot out where they'll have the best chances of seeing us. They wonder whether, logistically, they can catch us at mile three and again at mile 11, and still make it to the finish in time, if they hustle. They stand, often in poor weather and often for an hour or more, staring at a sea of grimacing runners as they wait for their grimacing runner to appear. 

And when we do, they go nuts.

They do all of this for us.

Not only that, but they do it with humility. How many times have you heard a runner's spouse or partner at a race say that he or she is "just here to watch"?  

Just!  

The tragedy in Boston spawned several social-media memes. One was the notion that, in the face of this horror, "We are all runners." It's a fine sentiment, but I'd tweak it just slightly. On April 15, in the space of 13 awful seconds, we all became spectators. (Even those of us who are, in fact, runners.) As events unfolded, we sat and watched. But we rallied, quickly and loudly. We came together to voice support, to assure the victims–and each other–that we're strong and we'll get through this. 

If that doesn't say "spectator," I don't know what does. 

Noticing the Sunrise

I was crabby. I had to be at the office by 7:30am for an accompaniment that I knew could last me 4+ hours, and I had a to-do list a page long. A part of me was questioning whether the client really "needed" me there or if it was going to be a waste of time. And to top it off, we had to walk to the bus stop in the rain. Needless to say, it was not my best morning.

But, then, throughout the course of the 5-hour accompaniment, my client and her beautiful 3-month-old baby began transforming my heart. Transforming it from a heart that was closed-off and so focused on the ever-present to-do list that it didn't have time to see or care about the people in front of it to a heart that had time and space to sit and listen to someone else's story and hopes, time to make the to-do list less of a priority.

And perhaps my client could have navigated the public transportation, the 11 elevator rides at the Daley Center, and the language barriers during the interactions with the courthouse clerks and judge, all while navigating the Daley Center with a 3-month-old in a baby carrier. She is a very capable woman, after all. But the bottom line is that I believe she really appreciated my presence, both for the practical assistance I was able to provide in navigating a complex legal process (including the extra set of hands to help with the baby) and for the companionship throughout the day. We discussed her joys and struggles raising her three children alone, her family back home, questions about where she could take English classes, and her hopes and fears for the future. I fed her son and rocked him to sleep, and was touched by her trust when she asked me to watch him while she meet with the legal aid organization that was assisting her.

Thanks to our interaction, she is now one step closer to resolving her legal issue, and I was reminded to look up from my to-do list to really see the individual clients with whom I have the blessing to interact. It's not unlike the ways I have to remind myself to look up from the pavement to see the sunrise on my early morning runs that often feel like a drudgery. And just like the sunrise, I think the reminder was well worth rolling out of bed a little earlier for.

A sunrise I was lucky enough to witness on a run along the lakeshore. 

It's not just about the numbers... but they're important too!

I really believe that the best way to help others understand the work we do at Taller de José is by telling the individual stories of our clients, but given that I've been able to share many of those, I think that a broader "by the numbers" look at Taller can be really helpful in understanding the bigger picture of the impact we're making in the community. So here are a few numbers from the 2012-2013 fiscal year:

And just a few other relevant numbers...

My co-worker and teammate, Lisa,
after today's 20 miler

412 = miles I've run so far during training

20 = miles I ran today (the longest training run before race day)

78.2 = miles until the finish line
3 = weeks until race day!

$1025 = the amount I've raised so far
$955 = amount left to reach my fundraising goal of $2000

This is the final push before race day! I'll be keeping all the clients, staff, and supporters of Taller de José in my thoughts and prayers as I finish the last 78.2 miles standing between me and the finish line. Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far-- I am so grateful for your generosity. And thank you to everyone who has been keeping me in their prayers and offering encouragement along the way (and to my running buddy who has done so much of the training with me, despite the fact that she's not actually running the marathon herself)-- I couldn't have done this on my own.

(And just for fun... what I discovered when I took my shoes off after this morning's run): 

$15= the amount I spent on fancy socks that I can't even figure out how to wear correctly
... in my defense, I put them on at 4:30am!

When Things Don't Work Out

Like most organizations, at Taller de José, we're really good at sharing the success stories. I love telling the story of the client who was trilled to be granted a visa to remain in the United States. It's easy to share about the client who I connected with an program to get a new stove just in time to cook Christmas dinner for her family. It's heartwarming to hear about my client who went from being essentially blind to having near perfect vision. They're the stories that make us proud to be a part of Taller de José and—we hope—make others eager to join us in that mission.

But the nature of our work is such that not every story is going to have a "happy" ending. As a resource center, we are often limited by the resources that are available; we can can connect them and advocate for them, but we can only do so much if they don't qualify for one reason or another. And we can work for a more just immigration system for the future, but for clients caught up in it now, sometimes they have no legal recourse. Other times, there may be options open to the client, but if there are too many obstacles, if their day-to-day is so overwhelming and anxiety-producing that they can't find the emotional strength or physical ability to follow through with the services they need, we can't force them to do so.

So unfortunately, yes, there are stories with less-than-happy endings. And those are always tough days. But an accompaniment I was on recently helped remind me that we don't promise happy endings. We promise accompaniment. On this particular accompaniment, I went with a long-term client, Susana to a court hearing, during which the judge was going to determine whether or not Susana would lose her legal rights as a parent for her 5 children. The reasons it had reached this point are long an complicated (and confidential), but suffice it to say that Susana is probably not capable of making the best choices for her children at this point in her life. Yet even though she struggles to make decisions in the best interests of her children, she really does love them and had tried so hard to do what she could to have them returned to her care, so listening to hours and hours of court testimony from witnesses who were replaying—in great detail—her worst choices was incredibly difficult. Susana had a lawyer, and we had done our best to assist her in following through with court-ordered services, but ultimately the judge decided that day to terminate her legal rights as a parent, meaning her children will never return to her care.

There was nothing I could do to turn this into a happy ending, but what I could offer to Susana was my presence. A compañera from Taller de José was with Susana throughout the several days of the hearing, sometimes offering clarification if she didn't understand what was happening, but mostly just offering moral support. And though she was clearly upset at the end of the day—and I was drained and saddened on her behalf—she still thanked me profusely for being there with her. At a time when I was feeling frustrated and incapable of helping create a happier resolution to her struggles, she reminded me that my presence was what she needed in that moment, not my knowledge of  legal resources or the English language or the public transit system. After all, the first definition of accompany is "to go along or in company with; join in action." At Taller de José, we pride ourselves on being able to provide so many our our clients with the tools needed to overcome certain obstacles, but we also constantly remind ourselves that the heart of our mission is to let our clients know that they aren't alone on the journey, whatever the outcome. 

Keeping Our Eyes Fixed

As the training gets more intense-- I ran 17 miles on the 17th--it's easy to get caught up in getting the right gear, eating the proper nutrition, and finding the time to run; all of which are important to avoid injury and make it to the starting line properly prepared, but also very "me" centered. Thus, when I heard the reading from Hebrews 12 from this Sunday's mass, it was a helpful reminder to keep these concerns in perspective and focus on the larger picture-- running for those who I have the honor of working with each day: 

Let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith...Consider how he endured such opposition from sinners, in order that you may not grow weary and lose heart. 

One of the reasons I believe so much in the work at Taller de José is the way we frame our work as a "ministry," not just a job that pays the bills. While we don't explicitly share our faith with clients (unless specifically asked to), most of us see our presence there as a way of living out our faith. My personal faith compels me to minister at Taller de José because I believe that Christ is in each one of my clients. So I "keep my eyes fixed on Jesus" by helping my client effectively communicate with his lawyer, or by teaching another client how to navigate the train system. And when I can't directly resolve my clients' most pressing needs, I do my best to "keep my eyes fixed on Jesus" by simply being there with them when they need the presence of another human to reassure them that they're worth something to someone. 

And trust me, there are days when my own exhaustion or my clients' struggles seem like too much. There are days when I want to "grow weary and lose heart." But a combination of my faith, the support and example of my fellow ministers at Taller, and the love and support of family and friends helps keep me focused and "running the race." As I head into the second half of my training (I'm officially half-way done!) I hope to rely on those sources of support and the immense gratitude I feel for the those who have joined me on this journey through their financial and prayerful support to keep my focused on the real reason for all the miles-- Taller de José. 

(And this was the point in my post where I was going to bring it all together and say that I'm focusing on running for the name on the front of my jersey and not the one on the back, but, unlike last year, our individual names are on the front of the t-shirts (see below). Great for getting lots of encouragement from race-day spectators, not so great for trying to make cliché blog post endings :))

Team Taller de José: Fr. Bob, myself, Danny, Lisa, and Daniela

Oh the Places We Go

One of the special things about running the Chicago Marathon (as opposed to another city) is that the route passes by so many places I know well, in many cases because I accompany clients there frequently. Seeing those along the route are helpful reminders of why I am running and help give extra meaning to some of the tougher miles. So here's a little virtual trip through the marathon route, via the places we accompany clients most often:

Mile 2.5
We pass one block away from the Daley Center, which accounts for almost 30% of our accompaniments. We visit here with clients most often to attend court dates for such varied situations as: small claims court, evictions, name changes, domestic relations (child support, custody, divorce), guardianship, and traffic court. Other times, though, we assist a client in obtaining birth or marriage certificates, or in filing court documents, often with the guidance of one of several help desks (several legal aid agencies provide the much-needed service of providing legal aid to prepare low-income individuals to represent themselves in court. They're so needed, in fact, that we often arrive as early as 7:30am to sign in even though they don't open until 9:00).

Mile 3.5

On our way north on LaSalle street, we pass by the main offices of CatholicCharities, an organization where we refer a large portion of our clients (and they refer quite a few to us as well). Clients who we refer to Catholic Charities receive services including counseling, financial assistance, clothing, food, housing, senior services, Head Start preschool, and legal assistance (both immigration-related and other). 

 Mile 15
Around mile 15 (the point at which you start thinking, hmmm... I should have just run a half marathon, I'd be done by now!) we run through the medical district, passing Stroger Cook County Hospital, Rush University Hospital, and UIC Hospital, all locations where we accompany clients who have doctor's appointments or procedures. We recently formed a partnership with a community clinic in Little Village to help ensure clients make the connection to Stroger when they're referred to see a specialist, so we've seen a big increase in medical accompaniments in the past year. (If you didn't see my post about my formerly blind client from last year, that's a great example of some of my experiences in the med district).

Mile 23.5
The route takes us to the corner of 35th and Michigan, the Police Headquarters for Chicago, where we accompany clients who need to obtain copies of police reports or request the 918-B Certification, all documents they need for the U-Visa application (a visa available to victims of violent crimes).

And the list could go on and on-- the marathon goes through 29 Chicago neighborhoods, and we've accompanied clients to even more than that. In addition to being motivated by seeing these locations along the route, last year I also had a band around my arm with a list of people to whom I was dedicating each mile. This year, if you would like to donate in honor or in memory of someone-- perhaps someone who has accompanied you in your own life-- I would be honored to dedicate a mile of the marathon to them. Taller will also send a special card to that person or their loved ones and add their name to a special plaque in our office. If you would like to donate in honor or memory of someone, just let me know when you make your donation!

Imagination

I recently read a quote about running that helps put words to a big part of why I run:

 "Bernd Heinrich, Ph.D.... agrees we were born to run. But the secret, he argues, is not that we can trot along under a hot sun. No, the genius lies in our ability to visualize-- to imagine-- that such activity might lead to an important goal. We don't run primarily because we can, or because it feels good, though both might be true. Rather we were born to run with imagination and purpose. Paleoithic runners pursued antelope with visions of a steak dinner. Today we run to score a soccer goal... To finish a 5-K and then maybe a half-marathon. To raise funds for good causes. We run long amd persistent, hoping to one day complete 26.2 miles... Our imagination is our greatest human talent. Our imagination and our optimism." -- Amby Burfoot, "Just Imagine," Runner's World  

I find purpose in running for Taller de Jose, and, for me, the beauty is that Taller is a place that inspires that imagination and optimism in others; we strive to encourage our clients to imagine a future better than the present they're living in and show them they have the support they need to realize those hopes. Most often, as in the case of my client Aurelia, they already have the capability of imagining, and it just takes a listening ear or gentle reassurance to show them they are capable of tackling the obstacles in front of them. 

For about a year now, I've been working with Aurelia, who is in the process of applying for the UVisa. This is a special immigration visa granted to individuals who are victims of violent crimes and who have cooperated with police officers and other law enforcement. The idea is to encourage members of immigrant communities to report crimes and assist in their prosecution; often, individuals fear going to the police because of language barriers, and more significantly, they worry they or their loved ones with be deported. Thus, problems like domestic violence are rampant yet rarely spoken about in neighborhoods like Little Village. 

Before I met her, Aurelia made the brave step of calling the police after suffering years of abuse. She was still confronting the emotional turmoil that comes with being responsible for the arrest of a loved one, no matter how much pain that loved one caused. But because she had a 5-year-old daughter to provide for, her focus had been one of survival, not coping with her loss and confusion. In order to apply for the UVisa, she needed to re-live the abuse over and over, both in writing her personal testimony and by attending frequent court dates to serve as a witness in the case against her abuser. I connected her with a counselor to help with the testimony, but attending the court dates was even more stressful because it meant facing her abuser and his family, who blamed her for calling the police. I attended each court date with her (the process was over 6 months long), and each time we walked away with the case unresolved, she would express desperation, questioning whether she was doing the right thing. I always let her know that the decision to return to court was hers alone, but that if she chose to go, she wouldn't be there alone. In the end, she did follow through to see the case to its conclusion, and her participation was an essential part of both the prosecution's case and her immigration application. 

She is still in the process of applying for the UVisa, so there's a long road ahead of her, but I can see her determination and hope that it will all be worth it; and for as long as she needs it, I'll be there, not as the director, but as a supporting actress. And hers is just one of many, many stories I could share. I feel honored to bear witness to my client's stories of hope and persistence, of imagination in the midst of great suffering, and it is those feelings of gratitude and inspiration that give purpose to my training. 

Take 2

For those of you to whom I promised, "I just want to run one marathon to say that I did it-- I'm not crazy enough to do that more than once!" I owe an apology. I lied. I just had too much fun the first time around (see my post from a few days after the marathon as evidence... I promise I haven't just put on the rose colored glasses now!). After a fiasco of a registration process, I was lucky enough to "win" an entry to the 2013 Chicago Marathon; I just hope the next time I win a "lottery" it means that I've won money, not that I have to pay a large sum of money (and in order to run 26.2 miles, to boot!).

And as I brace myself for the long runs in the summer heat and humidity, the crack-of-dawn Saturday alarms, and the aches and pains, I am constantly reminded that the over 450 miles of training are well worth it when put in perspective of the cause I'm running for-- Taller de Jose. If you've found this blog then you likely know me or a little bit about Taller de Jose already, so I'll try not to be too repetitive about what I've already written. Just briefly,  Taller De Jose is an agency that offers companionship and personal attention to people who have difficulty finding their way in a complex social system. Rather than duplicate existing services, we seek to collaborate with other agencies to make social services more accessible to a population in need. Each staff member, compenera/o, is trained to listen to clients to assess the services they need and then accompany them in the process of finding those resources. 

Since my last posts, Taller has continued to see record numbers of clients and partner with other agencies in the process of accompanying these clients. Here's a brief snapshot of who Taller serves:

I'm officially a week and half into training and I'm quickly being reminded that I can't do this alone. I have the support of an awesome running partner who will be doing most of the training with me-- despite the fact that she won't actually be running the marathon herself!--but I also need all the additional moral support I can get.  The prayers and encouragement I received from family and friends last year made all the difference. If you are also able to financially support Taller de Jose, you can do so by donating at GiveCentral. My goal this year is $1000 and no amount is too small to help me reach that! Fundraising is a lot like marathon running and accompanying clients-- sometimes the big picture can be overwhelming, but it's all about taking it one step at a time and asking for help along the way. 

I'll be back with more posts about my experiences at Taller, but in the meantime, let me know if you have any questions and thank you again for your support!

Mission Accomplished!

I successfully completed the 2012 Chicago Marathon in 5:25:23 AND I far exceeded my fundraising goal, raising a total of $1912.00 so far (and I'm expecting several hundred more in matching donations from employers!!). I cannot possibly express how grateful I am to everyone who donated and everyone who either came to cheer me on in person (it made all the difference to look forward to seeing my family and friends) or sent their love and support from afar. I am so blessed.

A year ago I never would have thought I would run a marathon anytime in my lifetime, let alone the next year. Then, seven months ago, I had somehow* decided to run a marathon, and I hoped I could do it but assumed it would be painful and miserable. But it wasn’t. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I had so. much. fun. That’s right, it was fun! Granted, I wasn’t battling a dropped metatarsal like my running buddy (or any one of the variety of  injuries other runners were struggling with), but the combo of our relaxed pace, seeing friends and family, getting cheered on by random strangers, seeing a city I love in a completely new way, and running for a cause I wholeheartedly believe made it such an exhilarating experience. (One of the reasons it was so moving to run in Chicago was the fact that we passed so many places I accompany clients on a regular basis.)  During my training I learned so much about discipline, time management, priorities, pain, fear, and endurance, but during the marathon itself I learned about trust, gratitude, and (ironically) how to relax and have fun. We missed our (arbitrary) time goal by quite a bit, but it didn’t matter. In the last several weeks of training I’d gotten caught up in feeling like a slow runner compared to my teammates and others my age and really wanted to make a goal of under 5 hours. But what I realized during the race (and as my running partner verbalized afterwards), we didn’t have a time goal when we signed up. We signed up because we believed that the training process could be transformative and because we believed in the causes that we were running for. As a result I can now say that I’m a marathoner, and hopefully because of that process, Taller de Jose can better serve its clients and I am a stronger, better person. Thank you to everyone who was a part of that process.

(In case you haven’t see the pictures yet, here are a few! There are also some from the official photographers if you click here. If you'd like to see me look really silly you can watch this video featuring Melissa and me from the Chicago Tribune... it won't be the first video that shows up, you have to select "2012 Chicago Marathon: The Race Begins")

Team Taller with our finishers medals!

We were pretty excited to see our fans (it was easy to look so happy at mile 1 :))

 

*Ok, so "somehow" is a little misleading... I actually know exactly how it happened. I walked into work on the day the marathon registration sold out (we didn't know it was going to at the time) and my coworker Lisa said she was signing up for the Chicago Marathon (her second)… and so was Kerry… and Maeve… and they were probably going to try to fundraise for Taller de José. So the wheels started turning… four generations of Amate volunteers running the marathon and fundraising for our service site, how cool would that be?? So I ran to my computer, looked up the information and saw that my good friend Melissa was on gchat. I started the conversation:

12:26pm

me: should i run the chicago marathon in October??

Melissa: hmmm... i was totally being "tempted" by that too

(My thoughts: No way! That wasn’t the response I was expecting… I could run it and have a friend—and roommate—to train with! At this point we had a somewhat disjointed conversation about the time commitment, cost, running for a charity, when registration was going to close, etc, and then this…)

1:35pm

me: I'm tweaking out over here!!

  you should do it with me!!!

  if we pay the $150 to register, we'll be motivated :)

 Melissa: i think i want to?

  aaahhhh!

  i was thinking about the time commitment and feeling kinda guilty. but then i realized maybe it's what i need or at least a helpful motivator to learn to be more focused and intentional (with my time and my work)

  and excercise is healthy

 me: and I bet we could find a way to connect prayer and running and make both things more disciplined :)  (Side note from October 2012: We did. Among other things, our “pace bands” from the marathon had a prayer intention for each mile)

  doooooo it

Melissa: ok i'm convinced..... i will!

me: yay!

  YAYAYAY!!!

  okay, I'm going to do it right now!

Melissa: ok, i'm going to sign up now too! what the heck am i getting myself into?!

me: I don't know!! We're crazy!!