¡Muchísimas Gracias!

A full week after the marathon, I happy to say that I'm fully recovered and walking quite normally again! But even though the pain and soreness has faded, the overwhelming feelings of gratitude I've felt during the training, race, and recovery definitely haven't faded. Let me tell you, I am one lucky girl.

Team Taller de José with Taller's executive director, Sr. Kathy

Thanks to my wonderful supporters, I've raised a total of $2,146.20 in support of the ministry of Taller de José!! I was pretty nervous and worried about asking for donations a second year in a row, not because I doubted others' generosity but because I didn't want to be that person who's asking for money every time you see her. But my convictions about the work I'm a part of at Taller de José overrode my aversion to fundraising, and I am so grateful that the response was one of overwhelming support and generosity. (And I suppose that doesn't necessarily rule out me being that girl, but it's wonderful to know that so many people are willing to support our ministry even if they aren't thrilled about being asked for money!).

And thanks to my amazing family and friends, I had people I knew cheering me on at 11 different spots on

Having my running buddy as my "compañera"
 for the last 5 miles made a huge difference!

the course. That's incredible!! People have mentioned that in the photos* I look happier than any normal person should look in the middle of a 26 mile run, and I think that's a testament to the fact that seeing the people you love supporting and cheering you on can override all sorts of aches and pains and exhaustion. Trust me, those smiles always meant "I'm so excited to see you, thanks for being here," and never meant "whoo hoo! I have 20 more miles to go!" :) A special thank you goes out to my family and roommates who set a public transportation record by making it to SEVEN different spots on the course! And there were so many people who couldn't be there in person but were there in spirit through their prayers, notes of inspiration, and text messages on race day and the days leading up to it.

So I can't express enough how grateful I am to everyone who has accompanied me throughout this journey. I believe so strongly in the ministry of accompaniment because I know what a difference it has made to have so many wonderful companions in my own life. I finished the race in 4:52:40, which I was absolutely thrilled about -- it was over 30 minutes faster than last year's time-- but I didn't and couldn't have done it alone.

¡Muchísimas Gracias!

* If you haven't seen all the  photos yet, this here are some more photos my family took and some from the official marathon photographers

More than "Just Spectators"

This is it, folks— only 2 more training miles stand between me and the starting line at 8am Sunday morning! I am so overwhelmed by the support I've received throughout the process; your prayers, donations, words of encouragement, and presence have made it possible to complete the almost 500 training miles leading up to this point. I And I'm thrilled to report that I've received a total of $1,926.20 in donations so far!! I'm still hoping to raise another $73.80 for a total of $2,000 so if you were considering a donation it's not too late! (see the donation information on the right hand column of this blog).

Sometimes the best signs are the ones that make you
 laugh, even if they aren't exactly "encouraging" :)

I recently read a brief article in Runner's World about the role of spectators at a marathon, and the truth of it nearly made me tear up. I've shortened it a little here, but I thought it was worth sharing. For those of you who will be here in person, know that it means the world to me, and for those of you that will be there in spirit, know that I'll be thinking of you when I see the thousands of spectators cheering on me and my fellow runners. Thank you so much to all the "spectators" in my life!

An excerpt from "Standing Ovation" by Mark Remy:

In fact, the word spectator–from the Latin spectare, "to observe"–seems inadequate. It suggests passivity, and crowds who turn out for marathons are anything but passive. Marathon spectators shout. They clap. They play bagpipes and kettle drums. They rattle cowbells and scream your name, if they know it. If they don't, they latch onto any identifier–"Go, Team in Training!" "Go, Sparkly Skirt!" "Go, Runner's World!"They hold handmade signs that make you laugh. ("You Should Have Taken a Dump When You Had the Chance.")

I've been buoyed by people cheering by name for the guy next to me, and by "Go Mommy" and "Go Daddy" signs held up by someone else's kids. I call this "secondhand inspiration."

It's a cultural universal: Every year, untold millions of spectators materialize to urge runners on at marathons around the world.... I don't know when or where, exactly, turning out to watch other people run became a "thing."... But I'm glad it is. I can't imagine ever running 26.2 miles without the crowds. And yet it's easy to take them a little bit for granted.

...maybe it's because our own private "support crews" are so good at what they do. During months of training, they put up with our aches and pains; they watch us vanish for hours at a time to do our workouts and long runs; they listen to us blather on about mileage and nutrition and ice baths. They indulge us.

On race weekend, of course, they're the ones who kick into high gear just as we're downshifting to prepare for race day. They travel along with us, carrying our stuff and eating when, and where, we want. They soothe our nerves. They study course maps to plot out where they'll have the best chances of seeing us. They wonder whether, logistically, they can catch us at mile three and again at mile 11, and still make it to the finish in time, if they hustle. They stand, often in poor weather and often for an hour or more, staring at a sea of grimacing runners as they wait for their grimacing runner to appear. 

And when we do, they go nuts.

They do all of this for us.

Not only that, but they do it with humility. How many times have you heard a runner's spouse or partner at a race say that he or she is "just here to watch"?  

Just!  

The tragedy in Boston spawned several social-media memes. One was the notion that, in the face of this horror, "We are all runners." It's a fine sentiment, but I'd tweak it just slightly. On April 15, in the space of 13 awful seconds, we all became spectators. (Even those of us who are, in fact, runners.) As events unfolded, we sat and watched. But we rallied, quickly and loudly. We came together to voice support, to assure the victims–and each other–that we're strong and we'll get through this. 

If that doesn't say "spectator," I don't know what does. 

Noticing the Sunrise

I was crabby. I had to be at the office by 7:30am for an accompaniment that I knew could last me 4+ hours, and I had a to-do list a page long. A part of me was questioning whether the client really "needed" me there or if it was going to be a waste of time. And to top it off, we had to walk to the bus stop in the rain. Needless to say, it was not my best morning.

But, then, throughout the course of the 5-hour accompaniment, my client and her beautiful 3-month-old baby began transforming my heart. Transforming it from a heart that was closed-off and so focused on the ever-present to-do list that it didn't have time to see or care about the people in front of it to a heart that had time and space to sit and listen to someone else's story and hopes, time to make the to-do list less of a priority.

And perhaps my client could have navigated the public transportation, the 11 elevator rides at the Daley Center, and the language barriers during the interactions with the courthouse clerks and judge, all while navigating the Daley Center with a 3-month-old in a baby carrier. She is a very capable woman, after all. But the bottom line is that I believe she really appreciated my presence, both for the practical assistance I was able to provide in navigating a complex legal process (including the extra set of hands to help with the baby) and for the companionship throughout the day. We discussed her joys and struggles raising her three children alone, her family back home, questions about where she could take English classes, and her hopes and fears for the future. I fed her son and rocked him to sleep, and was touched by her trust when she asked me to watch him while she meet with the legal aid organization that was assisting her.

Thanks to our interaction, she is now one step closer to resolving her legal issue, and I was reminded to look up from my to-do list to really see the individual clients with whom I have the blessing to interact. It's not unlike the ways I have to remind myself to look up from the pavement to see the sunrise on my early morning runs that often feel like a drudgery. And just like the sunrise, I think the reminder was well worth rolling out of bed a little earlier for.

A sunrise I was lucky enough to witness on a run along the lakeshore. 

It's not just about the numbers... but they're important too!

I really believe that the best way to help others understand the work we do at Taller de José is by telling the individual stories of our clients, but given that I've been able to share many of those, I think that a broader "by the numbers" look at Taller can be really helpful in understanding the bigger picture of the impact we're making in the community. So here are a few numbers from the 2012-2013 fiscal year:

And just a few other relevant numbers...

My co-worker and teammate, Lisa,
after today's 20 miler

412 = miles I've run so far during training

20 = miles I ran today (the longest training run before race day)

78.2 = miles until the finish line
3 = weeks until race day!

$1025 = the amount I've raised so far
$955 = amount left to reach my fundraising goal of $2000

This is the final push before race day! I'll be keeping all the clients, staff, and supporters of Taller de José in my thoughts and prayers as I finish the last 78.2 miles standing between me and the finish line. Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far-- I am so grateful for your generosity. And thank you to everyone who has been keeping me in their prayers and offering encouragement along the way (and to my running buddy who has done so much of the training with me, despite the fact that she's not actually running the marathon herself)-- I couldn't have done this on my own.

(And just for fun... what I discovered when I took my shoes off after this morning's run): 

$15= the amount I spent on fancy socks that I can't even figure out how to wear correctly
... in my defense, I put them on at 4:30am!

When Things Don't Work Out

Like most organizations, at Taller de José, we're really good at sharing the success stories. I love telling the story of the client who was trilled to be granted a visa to remain in the United States. It's easy to share about the client who I connected with an program to get a new stove just in time to cook Christmas dinner for her family. It's heartwarming to hear about my client who went from being essentially blind to having near perfect vision. They're the stories that make us proud to be a part of Taller de José and—we hope—make others eager to join us in that mission.

But the nature of our work is such that not every story is going to have a "happy" ending. As a resource center, we are often limited by the resources that are available; we can can connect them and advocate for them, but we can only do so much if they don't qualify for one reason or another. And we can work for a more just immigration system for the future, but for clients caught up in it now, sometimes they have no legal recourse. Other times, there may be options open to the client, but if there are too many obstacles, if their day-to-day is so overwhelming and anxiety-producing that they can't find the emotional strength or physical ability to follow through with the services they need, we can't force them to do so.

So unfortunately, yes, there are stories with less-than-happy endings. And those are always tough days. But an accompaniment I was on recently helped remind me that we don't promise happy endings. We promise accompaniment. On this particular accompaniment, I went with a long-term client, Susana to a court hearing, during which the judge was going to determine whether or not Susana would lose her legal rights as a parent for her 5 children. The reasons it had reached this point are long an complicated (and confidential), but suffice it to say that Susana is probably not capable of making the best choices for her children at this point in her life. Yet even though she struggles to make decisions in the best interests of her children, she really does love them and had tried so hard to do what she could to have them returned to her care, so listening to hours and hours of court testimony from witnesses who were replaying—in great detail—her worst choices was incredibly difficult. Susana had a lawyer, and we had done our best to assist her in following through with court-ordered services, but ultimately the judge decided that day to terminate her legal rights as a parent, meaning her children will never return to her care.

There was nothing I could do to turn this into a happy ending, but what I could offer to Susana was my presence. A compañera from Taller de José was with Susana throughout the several days of the hearing, sometimes offering clarification if she didn't understand what was happening, but mostly just offering moral support. And though she was clearly upset at the end of the day—and I was drained and saddened on her behalf—she still thanked me profusely for being there with her. At a time when I was feeling frustrated and incapable of helping create a happier resolution to her struggles, she reminded me that my presence was what she needed in that moment, not my knowledge of  legal resources or the English language or the public transit system. After all, the first definition of accompany is "to go along or in company with; join in action." At Taller de José, we pride ourselves on being able to provide so many our our clients with the tools needed to overcome certain obstacles, but we also constantly remind ourselves that the heart of our mission is to let our clients know that they aren't alone on the journey, whatever the outcome. 

Keeping Our Eyes Fixed

As the training gets more intense-- I ran 17 miles on the 17th--it's easy to get caught up in getting the right gear, eating the proper nutrition, and finding the time to run; all of which are important to avoid injury and make it to the starting line properly prepared, but also very "me" centered. Thus, when I heard the reading from Hebrews 12 from this Sunday's mass, it was a helpful reminder to keep these concerns in perspective and focus on the larger picture-- running for those who I have the honor of working with each day: 

Let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith...Consider how he endured such opposition from sinners, in order that you may not grow weary and lose heart. 

One of the reasons I believe so much in the work at Taller de José is the way we frame our work as a "ministry," not just a job that pays the bills. While we don't explicitly share our faith with clients (unless specifically asked to), most of us see our presence there as a way of living out our faith. My personal faith compels me to minister at Taller de José because I believe that Christ is in each one of my clients. So I "keep my eyes fixed on Jesus" by helping my client effectively communicate with his lawyer, or by teaching another client how to navigate the train system. And when I can't directly resolve my clients' most pressing needs, I do my best to "keep my eyes fixed on Jesus" by simply being there with them when they need the presence of another human to reassure them that they're worth something to someone. 

And trust me, there are days when my own exhaustion or my clients' struggles seem like too much. There are days when I want to "grow weary and lose heart." But a combination of my faith, the support and example of my fellow ministers at Taller, and the love and support of family and friends helps keep me focused and "running the race." As I head into the second half of my training (I'm officially half-way done!) I hope to rely on those sources of support and the immense gratitude I feel for the those who have joined me on this journey through their financial and prayerful support to keep my focused on the real reason for all the miles-- Taller de José. 

(And this was the point in my post where I was going to bring it all together and say that I'm focusing on running for the name on the front of my jersey and not the one on the back, but, unlike last year, our individual names are on the front of the t-shirts (see below). Great for getting lots of encouragement from race-day spectators, not so great for trying to make cliché blog post endings :))

Team Taller de José: Fr. Bob, myself, Danny, Lisa, and Daniela

Oh the Places We Go

One of the special things about running the Chicago Marathon (as opposed to another city) is that the route passes by so many places I know well, in many cases because I accompany clients there frequently. Seeing those along the route are helpful reminders of why I am running and help give extra meaning to some of the tougher miles. So here's a little virtual trip through the marathon route, via the places we accompany clients most often:

Mile 2.5
We pass one block away from the Daley Center, which accounts for almost 30% of our accompaniments. We visit here with clients most often to attend court dates for such varied situations as: small claims court, evictions, name changes, domestic relations (child support, custody, divorce), guardianship, and traffic court. Other times, though, we assist a client in obtaining birth or marriage certificates, or in filing court documents, often with the guidance of one of several help desks (several legal aid agencies provide the much-needed service of providing legal aid to prepare low-income individuals to represent themselves in court. They're so needed, in fact, that we often arrive as early as 7:30am to sign in even though they don't open until 9:00).

Mile 3.5

On our way north on LaSalle street, we pass by the main offices of CatholicCharities, an organization where we refer a large portion of our clients (and they refer quite a few to us as well). Clients who we refer to Catholic Charities receive services including counseling, financial assistance, clothing, food, housing, senior services, Head Start preschool, and legal assistance (both immigration-related and other). 

 Mile 15
Around mile 15 (the point at which you start thinking, hmmm... I should have just run a half marathon, I'd be done by now!) we run through the medical district, passing Stroger Cook County Hospital, Rush University Hospital, and UIC Hospital, all locations where we accompany clients who have doctor's appointments or procedures. We recently formed a partnership with a community clinic in Little Village to help ensure clients make the connection to Stroger when they're referred to see a specialist, so we've seen a big increase in medical accompaniments in the past year. (If you didn't see my post about my formerly blind client from last year, that's a great example of some of my experiences in the med district).

Mile 23.5
The route takes us to the corner of 35th and Michigan, the Police Headquarters for Chicago, where we accompany clients who need to obtain copies of police reports or request the 918-B Certification, all documents they need for the U-Visa application (a visa available to victims of violent crimes).

And the list could go on and on-- the marathon goes through 29 Chicago neighborhoods, and we've accompanied clients to even more than that. In addition to being motivated by seeing these locations along the route, last year I also had a band around my arm with a list of people to whom I was dedicating each mile. This year, if you would like to donate in honor or in memory of someone-- perhaps someone who has accompanied you in your own life-- I would be honored to dedicate a mile of the marathon to them. Taller will also send a special card to that person or their loved ones and add their name to a special plaque in our office. If you would like to donate in honor or memory of someone, just let me know when you make your donation!

Imagination

I recently read a quote about running that helps put words to a big part of why I run:

 "Bernd Heinrich, Ph.D.... agrees we were born to run. But the secret, he argues, is not that we can trot along under a hot sun. No, the genius lies in our ability to visualize-- to imagine-- that such activity might lead to an important goal. We don't run primarily because we can, or because it feels good, though both might be true. Rather we were born to run with imagination and purpose. Paleoithic runners pursued antelope with visions of a steak dinner. Today we run to score a soccer goal... To finish a 5-K and then maybe a half-marathon. To raise funds for good causes. We run long amd persistent, hoping to one day complete 26.2 miles... Our imagination is our greatest human talent. Our imagination and our optimism." -- Amby Burfoot, "Just Imagine," Runner's World  

I find purpose in running for Taller de Jose, and, for me, the beauty is that Taller is a place that inspires that imagination and optimism in others; we strive to encourage our clients to imagine a future better than the present they're living in and show them they have the support they need to realize those hopes. Most often, as in the case of my client Aurelia, they already have the capability of imagining, and it just takes a listening ear or gentle reassurance to show them they are capable of tackling the obstacles in front of them. 

For about a year now, I've been working with Aurelia, who is in the process of applying for the UVisa. This is a special immigration visa granted to individuals who are victims of violent crimes and who have cooperated with police officers and other law enforcement. The idea is to encourage members of immigrant communities to report crimes and assist in their prosecution; often, individuals fear going to the police because of language barriers, and more significantly, they worry they or their loved ones with be deported. Thus, problems like domestic violence are rampant yet rarely spoken about in neighborhoods like Little Village. 

Before I met her, Aurelia made the brave step of calling the police after suffering years of abuse. She was still confronting the emotional turmoil that comes with being responsible for the arrest of a loved one, no matter how much pain that loved one caused. But because she had a 5-year-old daughter to provide for, her focus had been one of survival, not coping with her loss and confusion. In order to apply for the UVisa, she needed to re-live the abuse over and over, both in writing her personal testimony and by attending frequent court dates to serve as a witness in the case against her abuser. I connected her with a counselor to help with the testimony, but attending the court dates was even more stressful because it meant facing her abuser and his family, who blamed her for calling the police. I attended each court date with her (the process was over 6 months long), and each time we walked away with the case unresolved, she would express desperation, questioning whether she was doing the right thing. I always let her know that the decision to return to court was hers alone, but that if she chose to go, she wouldn't be there alone. In the end, she did follow through to see the case to its conclusion, and her participation was an essential part of both the prosecution's case and her immigration application. 

She is still in the process of applying for the UVisa, so there's a long road ahead of her, but I can see her determination and hope that it will all be worth it; and for as long as she needs it, I'll be there, not as the director, but as a supporting actress. And hers is just one of many, many stories I could share. I feel honored to bear witness to my client's stories of hope and persistence, of imagination in the midst of great suffering, and it is those feelings of gratitude and inspiration that give purpose to my training. 

Take 2

For those of you to whom I promised, "I just want to run one marathon to say that I did it-- I'm not crazy enough to do that more than once!" I owe an apology. I lied. I just had too much fun the first time around (see my post from a few days after the marathon as evidence... I promise I haven't just put on the rose colored glasses now!). After a fiasco of a registration process, I was lucky enough to "win" an entry to the 2013 Chicago Marathon; I just hope the next time I win a "lottery" it means that I've won money, not that I have to pay a large sum of money (and in order to run 26.2 miles, to boot!).

And as I brace myself for the long runs in the summer heat and humidity, the crack-of-dawn Saturday alarms, and the aches and pains, I am constantly reminded that the over 450 miles of training are well worth it when put in perspective of the cause I'm running for-- Taller de Jose. If you've found this blog then you likely know me or a little bit about Taller de Jose already, so I'll try not to be too repetitive about what I've already written. Just briefly,  Taller De Jose is an agency that offers companionship and personal attention to people who have difficulty finding their way in a complex social system. Rather than duplicate existing services, we seek to collaborate with other agencies to make social services more accessible to a population in need. Each staff member, compenera/o, is trained to listen to clients to assess the services they need and then accompany them in the process of finding those resources. 

Since my last posts, Taller has continued to see record numbers of clients and partner with other agencies in the process of accompanying these clients. Here's a brief snapshot of who Taller serves:

I'm officially a week and half into training and I'm quickly being reminded that I can't do this alone. I have the support of an awesome running partner who will be doing most of the training with me-- despite the fact that she won't actually be running the marathon herself!--but I also need all the additional moral support I can get.  The prayers and encouragement I received from family and friends last year made all the difference. If you are also able to financially support Taller de Jose, you can do so by donating at GiveCentral. My goal this year is $1000 and no amount is too small to help me reach that! Fundraising is a lot like marathon running and accompanying clients-- sometimes the big picture can be overwhelming, but it's all about taking it one step at a time and asking for help along the way. 

I'll be back with more posts about my experiences at Taller, but in the meantime, let me know if you have any questions and thank you again for your support!